Discussions with the BSM and other Bristol Driving Schools

We always have a special place in our coverage for driving schools, as they have to teach beginners the hard art of driving and parking in a city which, excluding Clifton, is anti-car.

Here, up in Filton. Evolution WM10YHO show that the way to park is up on the pavement.

In front of it, a shared space. This eliminates the pavement entirely, and makes for some fun high-speed chicanes.

Speaking of driving schools, our ongoing discussion with one has had a new comment. The instructor does provide some good insight into what it's like driving a bus in the city, so those commenters slagging off FirstBus drivers should really save their anger for FirstBus management.

He also raises the issue of which laws should be ignored first:

I completely agree with people should not park on double yellow lines or zig zags or to close to junction corners all of which cause a danger to other road users but I do not count parking 2 wheels on the pavement in a very narror street that was never meant for parked cars in the first place as the same level of offence.

We don't bother with making decisions about which action is more defensible than others. We ignore them all, hence save time thinking about which action is more right than others.

We also note that we haven't seen that particular driving school in our database. The driving school that most pops is the British School of Motoring. The BSM may have more market share, but they are to be commended for something else: they are the only driving school that we have documented teaching people how to park in Montpelier. The other schools, they pick you up, then take you somewhere safe to learn to drive. The BSM actually hold their lessons in Montpelier.

In-town, in Richmond Road, Montpelier, we have a heartwarming sight. No, not the cyclist going up the hill with the Sainsbury's bag on the handlebars -it's the BSM instruction car WV60WJF.

We don't think driving and parking in Monty has its own test yet, so we're assuming it's a lesson. As Richmond Road is one of the hardest to drive and park on, we congratulate the BSM for showing their pupils the way forward -or at least the way up on the pavement without damaging your wheels, hitting the wall or paying the wingmirror tax on the way up the road.

So far, nobody from the BSM has got in touch with us. However, we are pleased to have video coverage of a discussion between some under-employed tax-dodger and the BSM car WR60CUY, which can be seen driving into the ASL on the red light: the bicycle doesn't get their green light until Shaldon Road is on red, so the car has had five seconds of red before it comes to a halt.

When queried about what the driver thinks the penalty for driving into an ASL is, the driving instructor comes back with the correct answer: anyone who cares about such things doesn't have a life. We actually think this summarises the entire country's cycling activist groups: they only do it because they don't have real lives.

Congratulations to the BSM for putting this tax dodger in their place!

Stokes Croft: Picton Street is normal

There's some paint on the road at the Stokes Croft/Ashley Road junction

The Bristolian Cafe is offering special "Riot Fry-Ups"

Claims were made in the press that people had been digging up cobbles and throwing them, but the only cobbled street we know of nearby -Picton Lane (good secret parking, BTW), is unchanged, except there is now a security person sitting in the sun at the back of the mini-Tescos (not photographed).

The local stores have a police car blocking the usual staff range-rover parking

but as there is still some spare yellow line space, this is not an issue.

Again: normality.

Where are the 20 mph zones they promised?

Someone posted us this video complaining that it shows a car driver unable to think ahead, because the driver overtook a bicycle aggressively on the way into Montpelier, whereas everyone knows that you only put your foot down on the way out. The tax-dodger not only ended up being held up by the Audi YY03YGM, they had to drop down Brook Hill, sprintg along Upper Cheltenham Place and then squeeze past the car on Picton Street blocking the road with the hazard lights on, while the Audi was still stuck on York Road negotiating rights of way with whatever was coming from the other direction.

We feel that the whole incident documents a more fundamental problem. The 20 mph zone isn't delivering what was promised.

The opening sequence shows how a bicycle doing 18 mph held up the car, but as soon as they go a little above 20 mph to get past them, there's another oncoming bicycle before the blind zig-zags. Even the bicycle video documents the other problems: the pedestrian and their dog on Brook Hill, the two bicycles on Upper Cheltenham Place, the two kids playing with a Pogo Stick in the road -our road- at 1:14, and then another bicycle. At least the car with the hazard lights on has paid for the right to be there.

Where are the 20 mph zones? The signs show them, but the car would have been lucky to have an average speed of 10 mph across the entire journey. We were promised 20 mph limits, yet it only takes one or two people walking, cycling or even pogo-sticking around and you brought screeching to a halt. We have been betrayed.

Monty regains its van friendly reputation

What with the 20 mph zone and all, some people may think that Monty no longer welcomes vans.

Not so!

First, we are pleased to show the first ever double parking event recorded in Montpelier.

We didn't know it was technically possible, but with the BMW in the yellow line area and the van FH02EKZ up on the pavement, we have reclaimed Picton Street!

Round the corner, Picton Square.

Can you see that? A missing bollard. Finally it can be used again for short stay parking, instead of a wasteland for pedestrians. Today HY08UOK is celebrating this shared space.

Meanwhile, over in Montpelier St Werbughs, the council van RF58NRZ is showing others how to park on a corner with double yellow lines. The chosen parking option allows for excellent visibility and does not hinder the progress of other large vehicles.

Bad timing

The van BK58CNV chose a bad day to park on the double yellow lines on the ASL on Bath Buildings, hence the ticket on the windscreen.

The road was closed while a 30T load got delivered by HGV, and PCSOs were manning the junctions to make sure nobody tried to turn into the road. With the police by the van for a number of hours, eventually one of them was bound to notice it and ticket it.

Unlucky!

YA55DVY - caught letting Medina Dairies Down

YA55VDY is a cult van to us. Never seen to park legally, instead encountered driving up onto pavements, sounding its horn at pedestrians to get out of the way. A delivery van's delivery van.

Yet what should we see on our travels round the city than this very van outside the Star And Garter pub, Montpelier

That's right. The famous van, parked kerbside, on a road with no yellow markings. No wheels on the pavement.

This is a shocking site, and makes us question the entire delivery model of Medina dairies "avoid refrigeration by driving fast and parking close to the shops".

Fortunately, we have evidence that the van driver's colleague who has the Dovercourt Road delivery knows what to do with the van LK08LDN

When given a choice between parking legally in a gap four times the length of your vehicle or double parking, go for the easiest option.

Dark Times in Montpelier

Look at this shocking footage of a cyclist making their way into Montpelier

There it is, just near the end of the sequence. A big 20 mph sign on the road. And it's not just here, on Picton Street. The zone begins here, but spreads all the way to Easton. Even Ashley Vale is 20 mph in the bottom half. The high speed rat-runs like St Andrews Road will never be the same again, now that some sanctimonious cyclist or smug prius driver can pootle along in front and not feel guilty about holding our van up.

Monty Van issues

This video has gone up early so that the owner of a red nissan micra further along Cobourg Road has more details of the van YK57BHZ- that scraped their car on the way out of the road. The camera was off at that point, but that bit of pavement where your car was is narrower than this stretch, and as you can see here, it's a bit close, and one has to question why the lorry chose to continue, instead of going up to Fairlawn Road. Indeed, one has to question what it is doing in the area in the first place.

At the end (above the camera), the top of the approaching van is touching the van heading away; people have to help push the smaller van's body away to reduce the scraping it would otherwise get.

Clearly this is an anti-van part of the city, one where it isn't wide enough for two to pass each other, even when both are up on the pavement. So why don't the drivers' satnav units start sounding off the moment anyone picks up a route that goes anywhere near it, like those airplane collision avoidance systems that shout out "Pull up! pull up!" should do the same for any large vehicle approaching monty. With narrow streets and -soon- 20 mph limits, we've lost this part of the city.

The cult of YA55VDY and the impact of the Whiteladies Showcase Bus Route

Mid life crises. What do do? Sports cars? Mamils? Fixies. No: stalking. It's under-respected, and what the Internet, from Google to Facebook was made for.

We in the B.T. Project have taken up stalking one vehicle, and are pursuing it round the city. YA55VDY: the van that we are proud to have never ever seen parked even vaguely legally.

It's more than just a protest against anti-car, anti-van features, this takes dedication. Here, for example, you could park parallel to the double yellow lines, unload safely and pull out without having to back up blind into Picton Street first. But no, the driver has chosen to park 1m away from the kerb, echelon style, to make a statement. Deliveries matter.

We also have some footage from one of our secretly-instrumented cyclists going down Cotham Hill -you can see the distinctive shape of the van enables our tax-dodger to recognise the vehicle from a distance. This van is now famous!

Now, what's inside the van? We couldn't be bothered to drive over and look, but one of the cycle activists we were haranging here in Monty did -Captain Bikebeard says "yoghurt". Now we know.

In fact, this van is now so famous it deserves its own Facebook fan page. One van, one driver, prepared to stand up against an oppressive state by refusing to park where they make him, instead always -even if it means going out of his way- parking "illegally", as if the state gets to decide where is and isn't legal to park your van.

A few days later, we see it now on the double yellows on Whiteladies Road. 

The showcase bus route proposes changes here, so where the van is parked to unload will become a dedicated left turn into Cotham Hill, with its own light sequence. The Cotham Hill zebra crossing will go away, be replaced by some lights which will allow us to drive through while pedestrians wait to cross (as if we didn't do that already), while the addition of a new lane and pedestrian refuge will make walking across the road harder -and well-nigh impossible for any parent with bike plus child trailer or tagalong, which our secretly instrumented report appears to be doing.

This is why we have mixed feelings about the showcase bus route proposal.

Against:

• Removes commuter parking from Whiteladies Road.
• Encourages bicyclists to cycle up and down the road

Pro

• Increases short stay parking on Whiteladies Road.
• Removes a zebra crossing used during the rush hour by slow-moving children and students.
• Adds a dedicated feed-in lane to Cotham Hill.
• The feed in lane will suddenly abandon the cyclists from the safety of a dedicated lane to a situation where they have to merge right into the Whiteladies Road lane just at the same time that all the Redland Mum traffic turning left is trying to swerve left to get into this lane, so putting off the cyclists from every trying to commute by bicycle ever again.

One of our concerns here is that, in the age of austerity, we don't see why any money needs to be spent so that cars can cut in from Whiteladies Road to Cotham Hill. We force our way through the zebra crossing anyway, so all it does is actually increase the likelihood that we get held up by a red light; removes the option of turning right from Cotham Hill to Whiteladies Road, and makes it harder to get a lorry through the corner.

YA55VDY in Monty

We are great fans of the delivery van YA55VDY. It does an invaluable service -bringing short lifespan dairy products to the little shops in the city, helping them resist the overwhelming giants of (Tesco, Asda, Sainsburys). What we also like is the fact that we have never, ever, seen it park legally.

Some people may think this is a policy decision by the driver, but we think its a direct consequence of those corner shops being on corners, on popular roads (with bike lanes and double yellow lines), and on routes that pedestrians use. The driver has no choice!

Today we see how YA55VDY has been forced to park in the middle of Picton Street. Not on a pavement, not on double yellow lines. Not inconveniencing pedestrians, and by reducing through traffic, making Montpelier a nicer part of the city to live in.

Monty Month: Trouble in Picton Square and Picton Street

Another weekday evening, and again, another cyclist endangering the paintwork of this important vehicle P334OWP parked on the newly-reopened Picton Square 4x4 parking area.

Round the corner, we see two unusual things. First, a space in Picton Street big enough for a small car.

Behind it, up on the lamppost, a 20 mph sign. Not so good.

Monty week: cyclists endangering our paintwork

Our Monty week has gone on a bit, but that is because there are always shocking things to cover.

Last month, we were celebrating the loss of a bollard finally re-opened Picton Square to important people in their 4x4s, giving you somewhere in this narrow-laned part of the city to park where you could be confident that your mirrors and paintwork would be safe.

But look at how this selfish cyclist endangers the paintwork of the parked 4x4 P334OWP. By trying to scrape between the remaining bollard and the vehicle, her child wagon may brush against the vehicle and so cause damage. And would any cyclist -who is no doubt uninsured- stop and leave their contact details were this to happen? We doubt it!

Note also that we have evidence this helmet-less mother lets her children play in the street! We have informed Bristol Social Services.

Monty: persecution

A car on a corner, nothing unusual there. Room for a pedestrian to get past.

But for some reason, today, LK54RZA sports a ticket.

Why are the police cracking down on the historical rights of Montpelier citizens to park wherever they can?

Monty week: someone's getting let down

This was a shock to us. A space big enough for three cars outside that fine drinking establishment, the Beaufort. Very tempting to pull the Bristol Traffic white van in there on this weekday morning and have a few beers. But who should indicate and then pull in before we get a chance to execute the plan? A driving instructor.

We understand why there is a space -it's the Friday before the bank holiday weekend, and many people are off in their cars and vans. But whoever is paying for the driving lesson is expecting to learn the skills for the city, our city, a city where a gap four vehicles long is so rare that it will go down in Montpelier folklore, like the time someone managed to get a stolen car a fair distance over the footbridge from Hurlingham Road.

While technically legal, parking this way isn't going to give the paying customer the training they need. Drivers in this city need to park two wheels up on the pavement! You need to pull out without indicating, as game theory implies the enemy -and every other road user is the enemy- will behave differently if they think you are looking when you pull out.

Our reporter apparently told the instructor of for his behaviour, and we shall report this incident to the city's driving instructor authority. The 2nd2None driving school is normally impeccable.

Monty Week: robbies driving school

Again, we see how some driving schools teach proper Montpelier-style driving skills.

Today, FD59EPK of Robbies Driving school - a regular contributor to our site- shows an important technique: how best to block a bike lane with double yellow lines while you shop. The secret: put your hazard lights on.


The flashing lights says "only five or ten minutes" or "important", so they are useful tools to use. Our Monty MOT will check that they work, it's the indicators for pulling out/changing lanes/turning that won't be checked for.

When the Stokes Croft Tesco mini-mart is opened behind where the car is,  knowing how to park here will be an invaluable skill. This bike lane -and the one opposite- will be only shoppers parking available.

Monty Week: British School of motoring show the skills

A first driving lesson. Sitting in the car, getting the mirrors right, adjusting the seat, getting ready to set off. Scary.

Along with our proposal of a separate Monty MOT test ("no wingmirrors"), we think a separate driving test, one that reflects the reality of these streets. Not parallel parking: paveparking.

Which is why we are delighted to see this British School of Motoring (BSM) car WR59WXZ showing one of their customers how to drive properly for this part of the city. By popping up far enough on the pavement to stop anyone getting past, less worries about accidentally clipping them as you turn onto the road.




We are so tempted to phone up the number on the back of the car or go to their web site and ask for a pavement parking lesson like this. Unfortunately, the terms of conditions of the DVLA's "please place your license in this prepaid envelope" letter appears to prevent such actions. Perhaps readers may wish to enquire themselves?

Update: reg# is WR59FXZ -thank you Benjamin!

Picton Square open for 4x4 parking again!

We are pleased to announce that despite the best efforts of the local street activists, someone has knocked down one of the bollards on Picton Square, so providing somewhere for vans and 4x4s to park when visiting the nearby shops.

This is technically a bike path, but, well, who cares?

Update: Quercus claims that SC51MXS is their vehicle.

Found: one van wing mirror

A wing mirror was spotted in Fairfield Road last week. It's probably gone now as anyone else whose van needs an MOT soon will have picked it up and duct-taped it together enough to get through the "has two wing mirrors" part of the test.

This is why it's always so traumatic when the DVLA hits Montpelier. A lot of people run untaxed vehicles not because the tax and insurance costs have to come after the RAC home recovery breakdown cover in terms of priority, but because the MOT has rules about the number of wing mirrors and the state of bodywork of vehicles, and it is impossible to meet those requirements and keep a car in Montpelier.

The War on Motorists will not be over until the government rolls out specific MOT requirements for different parts of Britain, of Bristol. In Stoke Bishop, for example, you'd fail the test for having an old car, anything less than Group G, and 2 wheel drive would only be permitted on two seater sports toys. In Montpelier, the wingmirror rule would be waived as unrealistic.Taxis would have a special "fail if the indicators and more than one brake light work" clause.

Bristol ASL Chic

With summer, the women in their summer dresses come out, in the bike paths, bike lanes and the Advanced Stop Lanes, which you are only meant to enter on a red light if you are a bicycle.

Trouble is, here on Bath Buildings, that bike-only ASL is exactly the size for a vehicle. So of course you drive in, the better to see what is going on on Cheltenham Road. And so the people on Cheltenham Road can see you.

Here on this weekday evening, the driver and passenger of H163TEP have not only driven into the ASL on the red light to enjoy the summer, they've driven past it, to participate in the Cheltenham Road "scene" even better. It also helps discourage cyclists from trying to get past, who will only hold you up when the lights turn.

Monty Bike Parking

The Radford Mill Farm Shop of Picton Street provides a bike park for customers

We don't know whether to denounce it for taking a bit of the pavement away from us motorists, or praise it as a place for bicycles to get stripped, and then discarded.