Absolute Vehicle Care Ltd, selling Alloy wheels to outsiders who inconvenience us

Dear info@absolutevehiclecare.com.

Thank you for posting your comment on our alloy wheels are for outsiders posting.

We are aware that we are the highest ranked site when you search blogspot for alloy wheels, and therefore that a comment with some banal chat and back links to your own site would help your page rank. However, as well as using nofollow links to remove them from google's PageRank scores, we have a policy that says if you spam us with attempted to links, we only make fun of you. Therefore, please accept this posting as a gift, but note that the nofollow tag above renders your link worthless and all that you will get is more spam to your email address. Sorry.

There is no point trying to push alloy wheel services to our readers, despite our broad readership in Bristol, because (a) you have a Southampton postcode and are therefore unimportant, and (b) we don't think alloy wheels have a place in the city.

Every driver who has alloy wheels values their wheels. Not only does this prevent them doing operations in the city, it holds up other traffic. Takes this video of the bottom of St Michael's Hill from last month.



The car in front of us is waiting to turn slide into the left turn lane -which has a green light onto Park Row. But it cannot do that as the car in front of it values their wheels too much to scrape against the kerb or to commit more aggressively and get both wheels entirely on the pavement, and they still have a driver-side wingmirror to lose. The selfish decision of the first car to have alloy wheels not only slows them down, it slows down the rest of the city's traffic. And this is on a Sunday! Imagine how much congestion one selfish alloy-wheel owning outsider would cause on a busy weekday morning!

Drivers who value their vehicle's bodywork and paintwork are as much an inconvenience to us locals as pedestrians on zebra crossings and cyclists pootling along. You may not realise this as you live in the provinces and dream of day trips to Portsmouth where you can see three cars in a row, but we city folk know the harsh truth: from a game-theory perspective, alloy wheels place you at a disadvantage. They are easily damaged and, as they are a visible status symbol, everyone else sees that you value your car, therefore are more likely to give way on high conflict roads, such as here, the Horfield Road/St Michael's Hill junction.

Please do not bother posting any more spam advertisement comments, as we will only continue to criticise you for your naive lack of understanding of modern driving techniques and issues, as well as your complete ignorance of game theory and its application in city driving.

Thank you,

The Bristol Traffic Team.

Feedback: the Southsea Cycle Lane

We like to track that we are on message by the mail and comments we get back: if people aren't upset by the truths, well, we aren't writing the right truths. Our Portsmouth Seafront Update upset someone, so it must have been good.

We criticised someone for cycling down the (admittedly wide) seafront, arguing that their actions were not only endangering themselves, their child and pedestrians, but the entire Southsea seafront economy.



This triggered some feedback from Byron of Southsea, who said

"There are a few cheap stalls and a run down arcade along the front...so how much do you think the economy of Southsea is really affected? Of course the real sensible solution is (like many other seaside towns in the UK) to paint a cycle lane along the promenade. It has ample width. We must try harder to get people out of their cars and (safe) walking or cycling."

Well  we looked back through our photographs, dataset, as we like to call them, and concluded that yes, the arcade is a bit run down, as is the funfair at the end of the pier.



The photographs hide the 20mph wind which made the crazy-golf a bit more problematic than usual, but you get the general flavour. Room for improvement.

Similarly, the clubs along the seafront do appear to have seen better days. All that was up and running over the bank holiday was the Southsea Folk and Roots Festival, and even there the bar on the South Pier let the side down by running out of all beers  -even Fosters- by Sunday evening.



However, note that these photographs were taken on the same day we saw the man and his child cycling down the seafront. There is no way to disprove our claim that the cause of the problems is in fact the intermittent cyclists and their families on the sea front, scaring off people from the arcade or the night clubs.

Byron! We thank you for your feedback but we refudiate it!

Portsmouth Seafront update

For the bank holiday w/end we checked out the anti-bicycle improvements in Portsmouth.

We couldn't be bothered to drive our van to where the new segregated bike path is, so we stood by the Southsea Pier to watch two cyclists who have come from it experience the joy of a FirstBus bus turning over them.

They survived to carry on the short distance before they have to swerve out past the parked cars to then get in our way.

For those people who aren't in the loop, the Portsmouth Council has pulled in plans to expend the bike path all the way west "for review" after complaints about the first stretch. This means there is nowhere safe for cyclists in this part of the town.

Well, some people may make the case for the sea front itself, but you can see on a bank holiday weekend that this is over-busy. The valuable revenue streams of the telescope and southsea pier fairground are dependent on passing traffic. These people walking down here -presumably people who drove here first- hold together the local economy. Reducing parking or making walking more hazardous would destroy it.

This parent selfishly cycling down the pavement at five miles an hour, with small child on the back, is not only endangering pedestrians

He is threatening the entire economy of the Portsmouth/Southsea seafront.

Portsmouth Update

Been 6+ months since our last B.Traffic team visit to Pompey, so we nipped down to enjoy a town whose team is slightly closer to the bottom of the football league than one of our own teams, so a bit of gloating. Of course, their town hasn't offered to pay for a world-cup class stadium, so it cuts both ways.

Now, the seafront, always a source of entertainment.

Today we see someone in one of those so called "practical" bicycles, as opposed to a mid-life crisis toy. But look -she is choosing not to cut across the road into the dedicated two-way cycle route. So much money, and these disrepectful underpeople ignore what we offer them.

Fortunately, not all do. Here, at the end of the path, we can see a father and child at the head of a family group, leaving the road and going over to the traffic island.

An island where they are followed by their entire family. Some people think "sweet", but we look at how much the back wheels of the rear two family members stick out into our lane, and wonder if they'd have the 3rd party insurance to pay for our bumper damage were we to clip them.

We know some people will be saying "it's daft to have a bike path that cuts over lanes, how are you meant to get home alive", but we say "you are ungrateful whiners". We also have to point out that the council is doing the best they can. There is nowhere else they could have put in this much space for bicycles.

Nowhere at all.